Life Update - I've MOVED back to England. How To Be Happy

Allo polish Pals,
I hope you are all doing great today? I hope you've a fun weekend ahead planned.

I wanted to let you know what's going on. I think that's one of the lovely things about blogging, even though you and I are here for nails I've shared some of the most important parts of my life here with you all.

As you may know I am currently in England visiting my family again, I arrived late last night.. however.. I'm staying here and I came alone.

I've made the decision not to return to the Netherlands...It pains me so much to leave my boyfriend but I had to make a decision for myself. I could either continue to let my heart slowly break and keep convincing myself everything is fine and that I was happy.. or I could rip off the band aid and break my heart all at once. Sadly with either choice.. people suffer. I've gained an entire new family, I will miss them all so, so much and I have so much love, gratitude and thankfulness to them. It was beginning to get too much and I didn't want to suffocate in the situation. Its a drastic decision and I feel I tried my hardest to help and encourage.. but.. There's a plan and I hope it meets its.. thing. Words...at this point they all look scrambled.

Obviously its not a fun prospect to think that I am going to be 29 this year, living with my parents, unemployed, childless (I had always wanted to be married and with children by this age) and less educated than I'd like to be. But you know what?... It's never too late. You are never too old to dream.

It may look a little scary, how she's sitting on that mountain edge but its full of positivity. Positivity and freedom!
Look how the tree is beautifully in full bloom, like the sparks of possibilities coming to life. Is she sad her balloon has flown away? No. Sometimes you have to let go of what is in your hands to be able to reach for bigger and better things. The petals represent worry, upset and lonliness floating away. I felt so peaceful and calm while I painted this manicure. Sometimes just painting the feels is really therapeutic.
I often felt trapped by the same routine and chores and I just felt like.. isn't there more? Is this really what life is? - I know real life has real things, but I felt like it was all I was functioning for. I was not treating myself well and I was setting a low expectation for what I really deserve and something in me kicked out and said enough is enough.

I was being told I was dramatic but I realise now.. never let anyone tell YOU your wrong when YOU say you are not happy. When it comes to your feelings listen to your gut. Only YOU know how YOU feel.

So what now? I'll still be blogging – pretty much as normal for as long as I can. I have a huge amount of posts to share with you (I'm scheduled until September!) and I'll keep creating nail art. I've been sending packages to my parents containing all sorts of my stuff..so I'll have some of my nail polishes. But we're going from like 1000+ to... I don't know..I'll start organising what I sent over today or tomorrow. In one way it also feels a little freeing in a 'fresh start' sort of way. I'll share my new set up with you guys once I figure everything out.

I'm going to give myself a couple of months to come to terms with the huge changes before I start looking for work. When you spend nearly every day together for four .5 years that's going to take time to recover from. In the meantime got a whole bunch of paper work and technical things to sort out and researching which sort of way I want to go in terms of nail courses or training but I'll take any kind of job when I start searching (anything just to get me back out there and going again) But I want to study - This is all vague as I am typing this but I want to turn my hobby into a career so I will be looking at what I need to get started in the nail industry.

More than anything I want to take time to work on myself, I know how cliché that sounds but I feel like I've been stifling who I am for quite a long time. I want to find my feet and voice again and work towards a future for myself. I've missed my family terribly and will enjoy being able to be around them again. I've missed being the quirky hands on Auntie.

So.. I am sorry there is no nail art today but I just wanted to talk to you one on one, as a fellow naily and friend.

So here's to putting pride aside, saying yes to living, taking a leap of faith, reaching for dreams and looking forward to whatever comes next.

I'll be back on Monday (a few days to catch up and settle in will do me good!) and I'll have some freehand nail art for you.



Thank you for continuing to support me and my little blog. You make this experience such a delight, I'm glad I get to share whatever happens next with you.

Love,
Ithi
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13 comments

  1. Just read the first lines and wanted to give you a big virtual hug. Now for the next part...

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    1. After finishing the entire post I can only say I wish you all the happiness in the world. I just know you're talented enough to make it in the nail industry and I'll be here, watching and reading and rooting for you from the sideline. Hugs! Joyce.

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    2. Thank you so much, Joyce <3 You are just wonderful!! I hope it goes the way I want it to but I'll never know unless I try. I feel like NOW is the time to really push for the things I want. Thank you so much, It'll be fun sharing this chapter of my life! I hope you are having a great weekend, huge hugs back my friend :)

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  2. you're not old at all, you've got all your life ahead! you've taken a brave decision and I'm sure eventually everything will turn out for the best! hugs

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    1. Thank you so so much, Silvia for your kind words. I hope so, but I am so excited to try! :)

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  3. It`s never too late to start all over again. Good luck!

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    1. I'm glad I came to that realisation too, thank you very much, Gosia! <3

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  4. My dear, I wish you all the best and so much luck and success for the next months/years. I can totally understand that you needed this change and I think you did the right thing. If you feel you're unhappy, you had to change. And I think it's really brave what you did. You're a strong woman and I'm sure you'll do great and find something you really lovy doing ♥

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  5. I also think that's never too late to change your life. Even if it's a difficult decision you should do what makes you fell better. So I wish you good luck! :)

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  6. Aw, sounds like you have some really big, really hard life changes going on right now. Good for you for having the courage to stand up for yourself and follow your heart, even when those changes are big and scary. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way, and hoping that your future turns out even brighter and better than you imagine it being.

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  7. I am so sorry that things didn't work out, but proud of you for making this big step. You are still young and have plenty of time to do all the things you want to do!

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  8. Good luck, changes can be hard, and leaving behind a loved one as well. You are so strong for making this choices. ☺ Best of luck!

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  9. You are still young enough to live your dreams. You have taken a brave decision and I know everything is going to be the best. Nail industry will feel blessed after having you as a pro nail artist. You can do it. Wish you all the happiness and a bright time ahead dear. A big hug. <3 <3 <3

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